Ok, so first – I realize I haven’t posted anything for a while. I’ve been you know… busy and stuff. Glad we’re over that. Moving on.
Though I am tempted, for the sake of my mom’s mental health, I won’t include any pictures with this post. A few weeks ago I went home (USA home) for a few weeks, but you don’t care about that. This is a blog about Israel, so my story starts when I got back. After a very enjoyable few weeks abroad, I came back to our apartment. I knew the apartment was a mess, but I was not ready for what happened when I got back. I opened the door, threw down my suitcase, and then – I saw them. Fruit flies. Flying, eating, and generally merry-making, and they were EVERYWHERE.
I was in shock, after only a few weeks of emptiness (Adam didn’t have leave for a while), our apartment had been all but completely taken over by the winged invaders. I collected my thoughts and considered my options. After a short Shawarma break and a contemplative coffee, I knew what I had to do. This was war. War is brutal, and I knew there would be many casualties – I could only hope they would be one sided.
I picked up the fly swatter, hooked in our bug zapper, crouched in position behind the couch, and waited. At just the right moment, I charged – swatting left and right I ran straight to the source of their power – the kitchen. The zapper zapped and the swatter swatted. After many minutes, sweating and defeated, I slumped back down on the couch. I had fought valiantly, but the enemy was still around. My surprise attack had barely made a dent.
This was no child’s war I was fighting. I reminded myself that this was the Middle East and half-measures could never achieve results. The most effective way to combat an invader is to attack their supply lines. It would be difficult, but it was time to clean. NO LONGER would the rotten oranges of Fruit-Fly glory tarnish the once magnificent tiles of our kitchen floor, NO MORE would the left over pasta sauce – taunting the household – stain our kitchen sink, and SO HELP ME GOD I was going to clean out the trash.
After the dramatic decision, in an 80’s style montage set to terrifyingly inspirational music, the cleaning began. (Feel free to play the video as you read to set the mood)
You need to watch this music video regardless of the connection to the blog.
I threw out, I swept, I mopped, I swatted. I rearranged, I cleaned, I folded, and I put away. And all the while, the bug zapper zapped. The cursed flies dropped like… well… like flies, and finally, I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. It had been nearly a week since I got back and the cleaning was finally coming to the end. As the last of the fruit flies were removed from the field of the battle, I swore never to let the apartment reach this state again. Oh, and to write a real blog post next week.
Over and Out.
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